The Schmear Chronicles

SOFT-HITTING NEWS: IF IT'S NOT HERE WE DIDN'T COVER IT

10 Snowmmandments
Facebook icon
Twitter icon
Pinterest icon
Google icon
Reddit icon
e-mail icon
JWMG

Thou shalt stay inside

In honor of the blizzard that has New Yorkers in a frenzy, we have created a list of ten weather-related commandments to help guide you through today's winter storm.

1. Thou shalt have no other shoes before boots.

2. Thou shalt not make fewer than 30 cups of hot chocolate.

3. Thou shalt not take the subway or ride thy bike in vain.

4. Remember thy local weather advisory, to keep it holy. 

5. Honor thy neighbhorhod's delivery distance limits.

6. Thou shalt layer with fury should thou be compelled to venture outdoors.

7. Thou shalt not commit abuse of hot water.

8. Though shalt not steal thy roommate’s phone charger.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against how much beer and wine thou possess.

10. Thou shalt not murder. 

snow

snow storm

nyc weather

winter storm

Add Your Voice

Blueprint Calendars